I Want You to Learn About Me First

I went on a second date with somebody a couple weeks ago. He took me to a very fancy restaurant in attempt to top our first date. Our very first date started off at a rooftop bar and the date lasted almost 5 hours because we connected so well. I thought it was actually kind of cute how he wanted the date to keep going.

So, evidently I decided to go on a second date with him. However, this time I didn’t feel the same connection. The conversation was bland…the typical, “hows work been” conversation. I wanted to rip my eyes out even more when he came over to the other side of the table to make-out with me (I hate PDA).

What he failed to understand why the first date was so successful was because we had a natural flowing conversation. I would have much rather have sat in a parking lot at In-N-Out and talked for 3 hours than sit in silence over a $200 steak. 

But then it dawned on me, how would he have known? He barely knows me, therefore, how could he know my values and boundaries?

This is why I believe it’s extremely important to become friends first before seriously dating.

Learn about each others childhood, future goals, favorite sports teams, and hobbies. The best way to get to know someone is through conversation and experiencing moments together. So here are some casual date ideas to get to know somebody:

  1. Hit the Arcade – channel your inner child and hit up Dave and Busters or go mini-golfing. A little competition can show you whether someone takes themselves too seriously or if they can let loose and have fun.
  2. Get Outdoors – Go to the beach or go hiking. Leave your phones in the car and see how low or high-maintance your partner is. If they’re constantly complaining about the heat or bugs, then now you know that future dates should be indoors!
  3. Workout Together – Working out together can show you teamwork, their level of dedication, and how much they push themselves.
  4. Volunteer – Practice being selfless together. Discovering what organizations your love interest is connected to speaks volumes of what is important to them.
  5. Wine Tasting – Wine drunk is the best drunk in my opinion. You also discover what type of wines you both like and take note for what bottle to order on your next date.
  6. Cook For Each other – Here is where you learn whether or not someone lives off frozen pizza rolls. Even if neither of you can cook, you can learn together.
  7. Go to a Sporting Event – This can be a horse race, basketball game, or your nephews T-Ball game. See if your date is really loud and into the game, or sits back and observes.
  8. Visit Each Others House of Worship – Connect with your date on a spiritual level if  you participate in any sort of religious practice. It can be a very deep and emotional experience.



You can still keep it romantic and casual. However in my opinion, you ought to hold off on the lavish dates and expensive gifts until a couple dates in. Observe and soak each other in before you dive in too quickly, you’ll save yourself a couple bills and disappointment.

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