For some reason, hooking up with someone is less intimate than going on a date these days. To me, it doesn’t make any sense. Would you go to El Salvador and drink their unfiltered water? No. So why would you have unprotected sex with someone you met on Tinder or at a bar?
Whatever reasoning you have for sleeping with someone you hardly know, here are some suggestions you do beforehand:
1. Get Tested
This should be a no brainer, but let me go ahead and reiterate the obvious. There are so many diseases out there, and you don’t know anyone’s exact history unless you see the test results first.
I know it de-romanticizes the whole thing, but would you rather have 15 minutes of pleasure or a lifetime with herpes?
I understand that we don’t carry our test results in our back pocket, especially for a night of fun. But if you have it on your phone or an email, awesome.
2. Find Out Their Last Name
It’s the least you can do.
Sometimes things happen, like the condom breaking and then there’s an unexpected pregnancy. Many times men are accused of being fathers, and then three years down the line they find out it’s not theirs. With proper communication, this can possibly be avoided.
Get a last name, and maybe add them on Facebook just in case.
3. Make Sure He/She is Not Married or in a Relationship
There’s nothing worse than being a home wrecker, regardless of whether you knew who you were getting into bed with. If it doesn’t bother you, then carry on.
However, be aware of the consequences when interfering with someone else’s relationship. You can destroy a family, ruin someone’s career, and taint their reputation, including your own.
Make sure that whomever you’re going to have sex with is on the same page as you. Of course they can always lie, but you will have done the right thing on your end.
4. And That They Haven’t Slept With Any of Your Friends or Family Members
This was a big one when I was in a sorority in college. If you slept with someone’s ex-boyfriend or previous hookup, you were in big trouble. I remember I asked one of the seniors in my sorority permission to talk to a guy she used to hook up with. She was completely fine with it, but it’s because I asked. Had I not, she may have given me the death glare for 2 weeks.
Personally, there’s NOTHING attractive about sleeping around with the same group of friends. Why would you want to be shared and passed onto the next, just to have them compare experiences?
5. Wrap it up
If someone tells you they can’t have sex without a condom, laugh in their face and walk away. It’s absolute crap. There are so many condom brands you can purchase that can make it feel natural and pleasurable. They’re also not expensive and are always accessible. No excuses.
If you choose to sleep with someone new every weekend, that’s your prerogative. It’s your body, your life, and choice. Have all the fun and crazy sex you want, but try to cover the basics.
Your health should be a priority.
Be safe and be smart.
*For free STD testing, check out your local Planned Parenthood if you don’t wish to go through your own medical care provider: https://www.plannedparenthood.org/ *